i couldn't walk away, i had to get back, if only for my own piece of mind. there's been a lot going on since we last spoke; a lifetime in a year... and other like-minded things...
not too much on the plate today; just to say that i'm back. i went through a lot of the old entries, i mean, i've been a member since 4/2004 so there's been a lot to document. it's amazing the ups and downs life gives us on a regular basis.
for those of you who care, the CJ World Tour is now taking me to Ventura County... mhmm...
to the lovely land of Oxnard... although i've never seen an ox there... but i've eaten them... in the past, not recently...
oh whatever, life as i know it is back and in full effect.
so, before i really get into the meat and potatoes of this latest entry, i want everyone to know that i've seen "Snakes On A Plane." honestly, it's a bit cheesy and it's almost everything you would have expected from the movie... but it was still awesome! it had a good amount of humor, decent action, and it hit hard and fast. it wasn't scary, except in that "totally shock you" type way. other than that, though, it was a damned good movie. seen a lot of movies this summer, especially cause i've had someone to see them with...
-Movies of Interest Coming Soon Hollywoodland (Sept. 8) The Black Dahlia (Sept. 15) The Last Kiss (Sept. 15) All the King's Men (Spet. 22) The Guardian (Sept. 29)
birthday?
you really don't know the hell that i put up with for some of my past birthdays. it's not really that special of a time for me because it's never been really a big deal for anyone... so i refused to make it a big deal for myself. you know those people who plan big things for their birthdays? that's not me. but this year... it went better than normal... it sure didn't start off well. damned house needed it's entire piping system replaced, so all day long it was just plumbers around the house, drilling... and hammering... and making noise and a huge mess. they got plaster and drywall all over the place cause the assholes didn't cover anything... that involved a ton of dish washing and some shoes with some unwanted white marks. but then my girlfriend came to the house. she made the day so much better for me, and she helped me realize that it's a somewhat special day. great present and a decent movie with her made it all worthwhile. i dunno if i'm going to buy into the birthday thing just yet... but i'm getting there...
so the weekend... interesting times. for those of you who don't know or wish to know, no... i didn't get the Fox Internship i'd been pining for for the past few months. the best part is that Fox waited until the day before everyone was to fly out for the final interviews before notifying us that they'd already chosen and had cancelled the interviews. therefore, my Labor Day Weekend was now in shambles... or so i thought. no sooner did i call and tell my girlfriendthat i didn't get it than she was already suggesting an alternative... and what an alternative... a weekend in the City of Angels and SoCal in general. must i remind you... i love me some SoCal. so... fo space saving purposes... RECAP!!!
Saturday 9.2.2006 -driving early... and some car singing (not too much) -lunch with her mom and her ate Carmela. it was nice to meet some more important people in her life, ya know? -over to her parentals' home to greet her dad and see some goats. -hung out at her older brother Luke's place for a second. -the PCH (if you don't know, it's Highway 1... ya know, Pacific Coast Highway) down to L.A. (so sweet... and semi-house shopping. of course, Sotheby's does a lot of real estate down then and they are definitely expensive. they don't deal with anything that's not expensive. -check into the hotel. -Universal CityWalk and dinner at the Hard Rock Cafe there. realized that we were both there for Spring Break 2003 before we'd met each other, quite possibly on the same day... amazing.
Sunday 9.3.2006 -wake up for a Sizzler brunch. (quick note: their Salad Bar had carnitas... instant nachos and tacos. that's an idea for you NorCal pinches) -exploring the J. Paul Getty Museum. beautiful place, really. the buildings are amazing and the artwork and artifacts are just so intriguing. you know how history nerd i get sometimes, and there was stuff in there for the two of us. paintings, old writings, sculptures... beautiful stuff. highlights also included a drive through the parking garage and scaring the old people with loud rap music in the parking lot. hehehe. (gotta release the inner ghetto in me sometimes.) reminds me a bit of the Palace of the Legion of Honor in San Francisco. -the "lost" tour of L.A. which included Long Beach, Sherman Oaks, and more freeways than i care to rehash. i totally didn't have my SoCal bearings all weekend. -late dinner at Palms Restaurant in Hollywood with Henry. he's a funny dude... i mean, he took us all the way out to Hollywood to eat when he lives near USC because of an Asian Elvis impersonator. good times though with him, and i hadn't seen him in a quick minute prior to that. -called in sick to work for Labor Day. was supposed to work for the holiday pay, but I figured a day with my baby was better spent.
Monday 9.4.2006 -got up a bit late, got to sleep in. -Sherman Oaks Galleria. just to walk around, go to Tower Records and the outside of the Warner Bros. Animation dept. -Camarillo Premium Outlets. Met one of my gf's best friends there, Maleki. he's a real cool guy. went to do a bit of shopping there, including hitting the Nike outlet. they've got my Air More Uptempos in all-white... next paycheck maybe. remember those? the "AIR" shoes?? i know you do, i had like 5 pairs in junior high. -the mall in Ventura. 4 words for you: Macy's Labor Day sale. hahahaha. you know how we do. -a nice, serene drive back home where we just talked... about everything. -a weekend capper dinner @ Carrow's.
yah, yah, i definitely had to hit y'all with the new Danity Kane video... the beat is fresh, and you know they are fine... hahaha. especially Aubrey. but anyways, i'm feeling this song right now... of course, it was either this song or Yung Joc... i dunno if "Everytime the Beat Drops" has a video yet, or else Monica would be the video right now. oh... just found out there is a video for "Everytime the Beat Drops"... anyways, enjoy Danity Kane. you already know the video for next year.
what more can i say?
there seems to be an underlying personality that I seemingly exhibit during certain times... everyone who knows me kinda knows that i get that mood. i dunno, i try and get through it and i just can't explain it, but y'all know it. let's put it this way... it doesn't mean anything towards you. i just want that out in the clear, once and for all, so that everyone else can get their explanations.
no, no... don't make me the bad one
i've had to deal with a lot of things lately, it comes with the territory, i guess. people seem to believe certain things and well... it's kinda upto me to make things right by other people. i've dealt with these kinds of issues in the past, so i know how to handle myself. i don't want you to believe that i'm reacting like this because of some kind of indifference or because i really don't care. i know i must have said it a thousand times, but i do care and that's why i react the way i do. it might not be the best way to handle things, but it's the way i've been conditioned to see everything in my life. that's not to say that i'm being difficult purposely... it's just me.
as far as you, i don't expect anything from you. you see, that's where we differ, i think. it's the fact that i know you don't really have a basis of comparison for a lot of situations and so you'll react with true emotion, all the time. that's not saying that i don't, it's just that with us i know that i need to be a little more patient and am willing to be. i don't want you to think for a second that i just am playing it off or not showing my true feelings. believe me, when the time comes, if something is bothering me or if i have my concerns about a certain subject, you will be the first to hear about it... but until then, all i can ask you to do is trust me.
as far as insecurity is concerned... well, you know how i feel about it.
tomorrow...
its the one day of the year that i have to deal with... and like, i guess. it's the day that i get older, officially. but let's look at it this way, tomorrow you'll get 23 years of reflection from me... crazy...
but if people knew why my birthday isn't such a big deal to me anymore, then they'd understand my feelings towards it. i'm not one of those people who is ungrateful, don't get me wrong. but i've managed not to need to have such a big fuss over it, or more specifically not to expect too much from them anymore. the more i expect things to happen, the more disappointed i am when they inevitably don't happen.
is it an ominous sign that the day before your birthday doesn't happen according to the plan?
*sigh*
not that im not appeciative, but if i'd known today was going to happen the way it did i wouldn't have even stressed it so much. i would have been perfectly happy just spending time with her today, no need for anything else. but its the knowledge that there was supposed to be something specific happening and through one reason or another it didn't happen, and then not being told right away... i would have just spect the day with her, no need for the extra stuff...
but now im left with another reminder of why i don't expect much out of my birthdays anymore.
i don't think i've had a birthday go according to plan since my 7th birthday... and the party. since then, it's been disappointment. so around the age of 13 or 14, i told myself to just forget that it's even my birthday. i let myself get excited for some things again and again, but i always end up right back at the bottom of the barrel, once again wondering how i ever allow myself to be so optimistic when i know that im bound to be disappointed.
yah, so i realize that there is no video today... so sue me. it's damn near 1 AM and i am invoking my right to be a little lazy tonight. besides, there is so much to talk about, so much going on, that the video would just further complicate matters... when theres Street Scene in San Diego and other things to drop knowledge on... so, in the words of Ruff Endz, "baby, relax, sit back and chill, give me a second and let me tell you how i feel..." bonus points if you know what song that is.
"we've been generally warned, that's what the surgeon says"
well, the number one is obviously the biggest musical event of the year for me, only because my heart resides in it's home, San Diego. that's right, im talking about Street Scene. i've got my complaints, that's for sure. it's not really a street thing anymore, they're holding it in the parking lot of Qualcomm Stadium in the heart of Mission Valley, not in downtown by Petco Park anymore and i have to say that i'm not very happy about it. on the upside there is a lot more room to run around, but it seems as though everything has been spread out too far now and we're left without some of the intimate settings that we have for music from the old downtown venue. i kinda liked it downtown also because there was so much you could do after the end of the concert. you can still do that, but now you have to travel from the venue where it is to the Gaslamp Quarters or downtown to party.
but musically, it was nothing to mess around with. for starters, Friday night rocked it out big time. i caught a little bit of Yellowcard as we walked in, stuck around for a couple of songs, before heading deeper into the venue. we saw a bit of Wolfmother as well as we walked by on the way to the back... and there was Slightly Stoopid. i'll have to admit that i wasn't too into them, but that wasn't the point. the point was to get to that stage for the next act... and they are definitely "nuthin' to fuck with." Yup, they opened the 36 Chambers in San Diego for at least one night. the Wu-Tang Clan was in full effect, and there was nothing that matched the energy for most of the people there. they rocked it huge, the Clan was all there minus ODB (R.I.P.) they were awesome, but of course, the highlight of the night and the trip for me was the act after them. Kanye West, whom I had never seen live, rocked the house so hard. my highlight, for sure. just the energy and the need to be a total performer was awesome to me. he did his thing on stage, ripped it up, man i was so hyped for that show, considering that i had only probably 15 minutes or so of sleep in the past 36 hours from that point. no way, i had the adrenaline flowing through my body.
Saturday wasn't so much for me. highlights were short, i caught some of My Chemical Romance and Snoop Dogg. it was all good, though, because the night before had made my entire concert, I was more than happy to have paid the $67 for Kanye and Wu-Tang alone. "souvenir" shopping
im not a huge souvenir guy to begin with, so you'll have to consider the fact that i was able to finally get one that i had my eye on for such a long time. it was worth every second of waiting that i did because of the elation and joy that came with finally getting what i wanted. what can i say, it was quite the effort and trial, but i wouldn't change it for the world. funny enough, i think it was the best thing i've ever gotten.
makes me love the city of San Diego that much more. i dunno what it is about that place, but it makes me so happy to be there and so sad to leave. but it looks as though ill be making trips down there every year for the rest of my life... or at least, that's what i want.
